


Time Pulls Us Apart

by tehsasu



Series: Cruelty of Time [2]
Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Angst, M/M, no regrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-02
Updated: 2012-08-02
Packaged: 2017-11-11 06:28:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/475557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tehsasu/pseuds/tehsasu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first few days of Bucky’s return felt like a dream. A comforting dream. One that felt too good to be true. One that soothed the cracks in his heart and cleared his mind and soul</p>
            </blockquote>





	Time Pulls Us Apart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lincesque](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lincesque/gifts).



> Sequel to "Time Reunites Us' by me. You'll need to read that first before reading this one. I apologised if they are ooc =_=  
> there were a few people that were intrigued on a sequel and what would happen after the events in the first one and this is what I came up with.

The first few days of Bucky’s return felt like a dream. A comforting dream. One that felt too good to be true. One that soothed the cracks in his heart and cleared his mind and soul.

Every morning they woke up together in the same bed, Bucky would smooth a hand over his cheek, cup his jaw, plant a small, sweet, soft kiss on his lips and whisper to him that this was real – that he was back for good.

It’s a gradual thing but eventually, Bucky could see it reflect back in Howard’s eyes. He could see the truth finally settling in and the spark of life he had fell in love with come back and shine as bright as ever.

It’s a beautiful thing, Bucky thinks and it makes him smile.

The war had ended before his arrival. It takes a while but Bucky eventually learns that Steve Rogers has been lost. That his best friend sacrificed himself in order to save so many. When he found out, he wasn’t even aware that he was crying until Howard wrapped his arms around his shoulders and made soothing sounds. The only thing that kept him from completely breaking down to despair was the knowledge that somehow, Steve will be there in the future when the world needed him again.

“We’ll find him,” Howard whispered over and over again.

And Bucky believed him.

\-----

“Are you going to tell any of the Howling Commandos that you’re back?” Howard asked one late afternoon as Bucky was making scrambled eggs.

Bucky’s hand hesitated, only for the briefest of moments before he sighed with resolution.

“No. I’ve died once in their eyes. After everything, it won’t be fair. St…My best friend died thinking I was gone,” Bucky answered, “Besides, I came back to be with you. Not them.”

A small blush filled Howard’s cheeks. Bucky only saw the barest of glimpse of it before Howard turned away to busy himself.

“Are you going to tell me how you came back?” Howard asked.

Bucky thought about that for a moment. Tony had made very clear (well Steve deciphered Tony’s rambling) that once he got back, he wasn’t allowed to say anything about what happened. Steve had said that since Tony was a Stark, if he mentioned anything to Howard about what the future has in store, knowing Howard, he’ll try and stop the evitable and change the future. Which won’t be good for both Steve and Tony.

Feeling a headache coming on from over thinking everything, Bucky gently shook his head and gave Howard a quick kiss before dishing out even portions of the eggs.

“I can’t. I don’t even know how it happened,” Bucky lied.

Bucky could see Howard getting frustrated. The man ate up knowledge like a normal person would at a buffet. Sometimes, it was amusing to watch but at the moment, Bucky felt himself almost cave in and feed that appetite.

As soon as Bucky placed the plates down on the table, he diverted over to where Howard was getting a drink. Without saying a word, Bucky took the glass of liquor and drained it down the sink. He watched as Howard stared at the waste in horror before turning his attention over to Bucky.

“Why do you keep doing that? That’s perfectly good stuff!” complained Howard.

“I prefer you sober,” Bucky simply said.

“A drink won’t get me-”

“One drink will lead to another and another. Please Howard,” Bucky said.

They stared at each other, trying to be the one with the stronger will but finally, Howard sighed, running a hand over his face and through his hair.

“Fine, I’ll stay sober,” he surrendered.

\-------

Days turned into weeks, which turned into months, which turned into years. Bucky would say that he was living in a happily ever after but this was reality and as far as reality came, this was as close to a fairy tale ending. He and Howard lived together, they shared everything together and no one was going to destroy what they had.

Winter saw them spending a little bit of extra time in the morning lazing around in bed, trying to soak in enough warmth before they desperately needed to get out of bed to get ready for work.

On one such morning, Bucky with his back to the headboard, Howard wrapped around him, face nuzzling into his chest. An arm draped across Howard’s shoulders, fingers lazily drawing incoherent patterns across the bare skin.

It was times like these that Bucky’s mind found itself stumbling back to how they got here, to how this moment was possible.

“Ever thought of having children?” Bucky asked.

Howard frowned before answering, “No. I want to fix the world before even thinking about it.”

At that, Bucky scoffs and says, “The world will eventually heal and people will move on.”

At the look Howard was giving him, Bucky added, “Not forget what happened, that will never happen but move on and respect those who fell and fought during the war.”

“You know,” Howard started, “when I think I know you, I mean, I hope I do after all these years, you come out with something like that. How do you know? What makes you so sure?”

Bucky smiled knowingly at Howard, kissing him lightly on the forehead. Instead of answering his question, he asked, “What would you name them if you had any?”

“What?”

“Children, idiot,” Bucky laughed.

“Haven’t thought about it,” Howard answered honestly.

“You mean to tell me, that while everything else is being thought of in that brain of yours, you haven’t thought about the possibility of kids or what you want their names to be?”

“As you said, I’m busy thinking of other things and in case you haven’t noticed, neither of us can have kids,” Howard pointed out.

“I like the name Anthony, or Tony for short,” Bucky turned the conversation back around.

Howard laughed. The sound always filled Bucky up with warmth and he always found himself wanting to hear more.

“That’s cheating. You’re just pulling that from my name,” Howard said after he finished laughing.

Bucky smiled and explained, “Yeah, I’d want our kid to be named after you – the man I love and came back for.”

\----

There were times when Howard would bring over friends and colleagues to their home, getting them to meet Bucky. Sometimes, those guests would silently guess just what exactly their relationship was but because of Howard’s status, nothing was said but they always had that knowing look about them. Thankfully, the majority remained oblivious to the truth.

This time, a nice lady and her parents had accompanied Howard back home. Bucky was just finishing tidying up when they came through. Howard was in the middle of enthusiastically explaining something to them, bringing out wide smiles of joy and amusement.

When Bucky’s eyes came across the young woman with them, he knew. It was like a wave of reality came crashing down upon him, choking him and forcing him to come to terms with what needs to happen or what should have happened.

Howard introduced her as Maria. Maria had dark brown hair and brown eyes, her smile lightened up those features and taking in both Maria and Howard standing together, he could see Tony written all over them.

So this was Howard’s future.

The thought darkened Bucky’s spirits and he excused himself from the room.

\----

It was supposed to be a normal trip made by train through the country side in England with some of his friends. What they hadn't told people was that some of the bridges hadn't been checked and repaired after the war and why would they even think twice about it when there had already been countless trips across those bridges and all those trips had ended safely.

How much the world hate men like Howard to have thrown the same thing in his face not once but twice. The world hated him and as a result, those he cared about were punished.

Howard had pushed Bucky to go on the trip, told him he should get out and see the world during peace time while he himself was busy with work and wouldn't be home for a while. Bucky had argued, saying he didn't need or want to leave but Howard wouldn't have a bar of it. Being stubborn was what made him a hard working, sleep deprived genius and frankly, the thought of Bucky being home alone stabbed at him ruthlessly with guilt.

If he hadn't, if he had kept his mouth shut and let Bucky be at home then maybe, maybe Howard wouldn't be hearing those words right now.

Who ever was speaking to him clapped him on the shoulder sympathetically and left him alone.

Bucky was dead. He was actually dead. He won't be returning to him. He won't be giving him that trademark cheeky smile ever again. Those eyes won't be gazing at him with a twinkle of admiration and love. 

No more.

They found his body among the wreckage. There weren't any survivors. How could there be? No one would have survived a train dropping when the bridge gave way. This was apparently a wake up call for the government. Things would be changing now to stop any further incident.

But it was too late.

James "Bucky" Barnes was dead.

\-----

The first time he touched alcohol again, he drowned himself in it until he passed out When he woke up, head thrashing with a hang over, guilt loomed over him and that made him drink more, if only to forget an inch of that guilt. 

He hadn't even thought about drinking again over the years after Bucky had told him he didn't want Howard drinking - he wanted to spend time with a sober Howard. Those words meant nothing now.

They meant nothing.

Shit.

The bottle of expensive scotch smashed across the wall, shards of glass and the drink splashed every where.

\----

If it wasn't for Maria, dear Maria, Howard would've continued drinking himself into oblivion and ignore the outside world. She gave him space for a week before coming over every day to clean up Howard's mess. There was no talk about Bucky or the liquor or pretty much anything. Maria kept her distance but still remained close and watchful.

She was there to offer a comforting smile, a shoulder to lean on, an ear to listen with. Not once did she complain.

\-----

"I wanna see him," Maria huffed.

Howard gave his wife a proud smile. Even after the painful hours of child birth, she was still holding on strong. Howard had no idea what he had done to deserve such a woman. After all the crap he's thrown her way, she has stood still by his side.

The nurse wrapped their crying bundle in a warm blanket after cleaning him up and passed the small baby over to Howard. Carefully, Howard gave their son to Maria. As he watched mother and son bond, Howard gently wiped away some of Maria's hair off of her sweaty forehead and gave her an encouraging kiss on the temple.

Tears of joy stained his cheeks as he took in the small bundle settling down in Maria's arms. Maria raised a gentle hand and wiped away those tears from Howard's eyes, smiling.

"What do you want to call him?" she asked.

Howard didn't waste a single second before replying, "Anthony."

\-----

It takes him almost seventeen years after Tony is born for Howard to get his butt into gear and start sorting out his old stuff. Over the years, he accumulated so much junk and Maria was getting sick of the clatter, even if their house was too large for the three of them.

Going through the stuff took a bit longer then Howard was happy about. He had work to do.

His hands faltered when he came across an aged box. He would recognise the box anywhere, no matter how much time went past. That was the box he had shoved everything he owned that had once belonged to Bucky or at least reminded him of his lost love.

Ignoring the tightness in his chest, Howard looked through it until an envelope fell out addressed to Tony. Howard flipped the envelope around in his hand, looking for any other name. Nothing. Only the single name in Bucky's familiar scrawl.

Frowning in confusion, Howard opened up the letter and read it.

Tony,  
I hope this letter finds you. You may not know me or have heard of me by the time you actually do read this letter but I want to thank you. Thank you for sending me back to the person I love. Every new moment with him was one I will forever cherish.  
Thank you Tony.  
Oh, please don't tell Steve that I had gotten sentimental. That was his job.  
I hope you both find each other and are doing well.  
Howard is coming back soon so I'll end the letter with this: Tony whatever happens, know that father is a great man and he loves you very much.

-Bucky.

In a fit of rage, Howard threw everything within the vacinity, creating even more chaos. The letter in hand was almost destroyed but some rational part of his mind told him not to. This was the last letter written by Bucky, the last one declaring his love for him. Even if it was addressed to the son, his son, that was created in a union that Howard never wanted to have, he was going to keep the letter.

Once the anger died down, Howard slowly descended downstairs to find mother and son talking. He watched as Tony almost tensed up and those soft features turned hard when he caught sight of his father.

He remembered once, getting sentimental after a long recording session for the Expo and saying something he had never said to his son face to face. Those words, mixing in with words written by Bucky made him wish he had been a proper father to Tony, made him wish he had a better relationship with his son. 

It's a sad time when a father only realises seventeen years later, when it's too late, that the damage has already been done. 

Tony didn't even say good bye to him when he left. Howard stared at the door for a good while until Maria lightly touched him on his arm.

"I'm sorry," Howard croaked out.

Maria gently smiled, already knowing that.

"It's not too late to fix things you know?" Maria pointed out.

Howard smiled, remembering that he had said something similar to her but in regards to a piece of a damaged tech.

"How do you know that?" he asked.

"A wise man once told me that anything could be fixed, you just had to take time to understand what went wrong," Maria said, leaning in to her husband.

Howard nodded and kissed her on the top of the head. He was thankful that he had someone like her in his life. Heck, after everything that has happened, he was still amazed that she was in his life.

"You're right," Howard agreed.

\----

He had already seen the clip but that was a few years ago and that didn't stop him from playing it again. Steve had originally wanted to watch the old clips. He had sat down with Tony in one of his cars, happily watching it until Tony's stomach grumbled. Steve had been appalled when Tony said he couldn't remember the last time he ate so he had left to go make them something.

As the old reel continued playing, Tony fished around in a box at his feet until he took out a letter addressed to him. He had read it once before but back then it had confused him. 

Now after meeting Bucky, Steve's best friend, and reading the letter addressed to him, Tony viewed his father in a whole different light.

"What is, and always will be, my greatest creation... is you."

Tony eyed off the letter in his hands, thumb caressing over the final message from one of James "Bucky" Barnes and smiled. This man had changed his father, had the biggest impact in all their lives without even meaning to.

"Tony?"

Steve's concerned voice broke through his thoughts. When he looked up, Steve smiled softly.

"Dinner's ready," Steve said.

Tony replaced the letter back in the box and closed the lid before wrapping a hand around Steve's neck and dragging the blonde down for a kiss.

Bucky, you're the one I should be thanking. Same to you, How - dad.


End file.
